The Midlife Revolution
To change or not to change??
December 6, 2022
Someone asked me recently: ‘How can you live with so much uncertainty and change all the time?’
Let me ask you this, I replied:
‘If someone called you (or maybe messaged because I’m not sure people make many phone calls nowadays) and said:
Dear Alex (made up name to protect the real person’s identity)
There was a 1 IN OVER 400 TRILLION chance of you getting this but it’s YOUR LUCKY DAY and you are getting A GOLDEN TICKET for a brief experience to a wonderful place that offers endless possibilities of discovery, it’s so beautiful it will leave you in awe and you will be free to decide how you want to spend your time there!
Surely, there must be a catch? Alex replied.
Of course, everything comes with T&Cs – I laughed in response.
The catch is that your experience will be pretty brief so you won’t be able to explore everything and since there will be lots to discover – you will need to learn things you might not have experienced before.
Ok, sounds like a great opportunity, where do I sign up? Laughed Alex.
Over to you now: if you received this call – would you grab this opportunity???
You probably guessed by now that the golden ticket for the brief and wonderful experience I had made Alex the winner of his life.
The chances of you or me being here were less than 1 in over 400 trillion, YET we are here.
We live on an incredible planet that’s so stunning and so full of wonders – Mother Nature honestly deserves ‘The Best Designer in History’ award (you go, girl!)
We live in very privileged parts of the world – with more freedom, opportunities and possibilities than ever before.
And we came here equipped with the most intelligent and sophisticated machine ever – the human body.
My response to: ‘How can you live with so much uncertainty and change all the time?’ is: I feel fortunate to have been given the incredible opportunity to experience life on earth and I’m keen to make the most of it.
Of course, as part of exploration, discovery and learning how to use the ‘equipment’ I have been given and navigating this enormous place with all its complexities, there are holes to be fallen into, fingers to be burnt and lessons to be learnt.
Regardless of my attitude or approach though, the planet is spinning, the seasons are changing, the cells and organs in my body are regenerating… all the time and I never know what the next minute or hour will bring. None of us do.
The question for me isn’t ‘how can you live with so much uncertainty and change all the time?’ because change and uncertainty are the only certain things in life – the question for me is: how can I not??
For me life and being alive equals change and the only thing to really consider here is how to navigate it in the most effective way.
Whether you choose a ‘settled life’ with a stable job and your creature comforts always within reach or you decide to live wherever your passport is like I do – there is no escaping from change.
Choosing to stay in your comfort zone isn’t a guarantee of protection from change or uncertainty.
We often fear or resist change because we worry that whatever the new situation will be – won’t be as good as where we are today. And it will take more effort. And it will be uncomfortable. And all of this can be true, but on the flip side – not many decisions or actions are irreversible e.g.:
If you are worried about leaving a job and starting your own business – if at some point you decide that actually you preferred to have a job rather than being business owner, you can always go and get a job. You did it before, you already know how to do it and you can definitely do it again.
If you want to explore other countries but it feels scary to leave your homeland…if you try it and after a while decide that it’s not for you, you can always go back.
If you want to try a new career or turn your passion or hobby into a full time gig – if it doesn’t work, you can always continue with your previous career (or choose something different).
With every change there are options and if the change is instigated by you – you are in the driver’s seat and decide your level of adventure.
With every change instigated by life instead of you, you might have less control over what’s happening, but you are still in the driver’s seat in deciding how you will use whatever is happening for your future.
With every change, if things don’t go as planned and it turns out you preferred your previous situation – you can go back and recreate it. If you did it once, you can do it again.
And most importantly… I’m actually bored of the ‘what if it doesn’t work??’ question because – what if it does???
Why don’t we ask ‘what if it works?’ nowhere near as many times as ‘what if it doesn’t work?’
Is it because this quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” might be carrying a lot of truth?
I will leave you with this question to ponder over…